Canadian Council of Natural Mothers' Library
Jane Guttman, D.C.
Reuben Pannor M.S.W.
even in the midst of great anguish.
Jane Guttman tells her story
in the style of a personal journal or memoire-a couple of pages for each
day or event, often no more. The story is interspersed with images of
the desert that Jane loves, which brings a sense of reflection and some
distance to the story. One builds a flavour of her days during the year
in which she found her son, exchanged some information and photographs
with him, and finally came to understand that he did not want a relationship
with her. The gift of knowing what had happened to her child was wrapped
in the sorrow of his rejection of her.
Jane finally phones her son
she has a short conversation with him, and then is asked through this
brother to break off contact completely. The loss of even this thread
of contact is hard to read. Any mother who has lost her child to adoption
knows this fear of being rejected, and of having no place in her child's
© The Canadian Council of Natural Mothers