Canadian Council of Natural Mothers' Library


Whose Child?
An Adoptee's Healing Journey From Relinquishment

Through Reunion ...and Beyond

Kasey Hamner

In this book, Kasey Hamner describes her life from the first day, when she and her mother were separated, through to her adoption and being raised by her adoptive parents. This is not the adoption story that mothers who lose their children want to hear, but it is not one unique in its sorrows. Kasey describes trying to be the 'perfect little girl' for her new parents. She also describes how things went terribly wrong in the family to which she was given.

She does not shrink from describing the effects this had on her life, nor does she absolve herself from responsibility for her actions. Her slide into self-destructive behaviour is chronicled objectively, but with insight. Her later climb out of this behaviour is equally well described, with the steps back and those forward. Her difficulties with relationships are connected to her experiences, so that the causes and effects are equally clear.

Kasey has created a story fascinating to anyone touched by adoption. She was found by her maternal grandmother and aunt. The joy of her reunion with her natural mother and father comes through clearly, as does her heartbreak when her father breaks off the contact because his wife forbids him to develop a relationship with her. How she has come to terms with the relationships she has among the many members of her two natural families is a help to all who are searching for lost family members.

This story is told with straightforward and engaging style and carries the reader along--I finished it in one sitting. Read by a person who was adopted, there would be many shared resonances that make it valuable for the reader. Read by a mother or father who has lost their child, there would be many insights into the emotions and behaviours common in some individuals raised in adoption. Read by an adoptive parent, there would also be many insights into the psychology of adoption. Thus, this book is valuable to all who are interested in an account of adoption's effects on children, and the need for families who have lost their relatives to connect with them again in order to heal.

The book is highly recommended to those adopted, natural families and adoptive parents alike.

Reviewer: Sandra Falconer Pace

(2000) Triad Publishing, PO Box 8514, La Crescenta CA 91224-0514
ISBN: 0-9674145-0-4

© The Canadian Council of Natural Mothers